Monday, March 09, 2009

Little Boys ARE DIRTY!!

My adorable, cute, sweet loving 3 1/2 year old is more CURIOUS than a CAT, and DIRTIER than a ......well, you get the picture.

As my little sweetheart wakes up "stinky" he stealthily gets himself dressed and changed and comes downstairs. Perplexed by his efficiency, I go upstairs to find not just the stinky diaper on the floor, but ALSO poo on the floor. I THEN find the scarves and gloves that we currently keep in his closet each have some poo on them. HE HAS BEEN WIPING HIS BUM WITH OUR WINTER GEAR!!!


As I go about my day, I find two cars in his little potty - sitting in urine. Seriously, what is it with him and his excrements?

I go upstairs before getting Brooke off the bus to make sure he is in his bed for his nap. I find a willowly, flowly, snakelike SEA OF TOILET PAPER cascading down the hallway and in big fluffy PILES in the bathroom. I have precisely 4 minutes until I have to meet Brooke on the corner. I am rerolling the toilet paper at blister-producing speed to get it wound back on the roll, adreneline pumping and sweat beading up on my furrowed brow.

Tyler gets a nice firm SPANK. Yes, I DO occasionally spank my children - and THIS is one of those times.

When he is safely in his nap I go check on the downstairs bathroom and find a big pile of CEREAL on the bathroom floor right by Tyler's little potty. HUH? I then notice a little cereal trail through the bathroom, on through the dining room, and into the pantry when cereal is found strewn about in little piles resting on each shelf until I find the UPTURNED cereal box.

Its like I am on some sort of sadistical Easter Egg Hunt just waiting to see what other horrible presents Tyler has left me.

I go up to my room to relax for a minute and go on the computer. But I cannot rest because all my good SCRAPBOOKING MARKERS AND SCISSORS are all strewn about, the CAPS are all off (SOUND THE MONEY ALARM, there is NO way I am buying new ones!) as well as some UNMENTIONABLES taken out of drawers. AHHH!

Then I go to put the mail on the desk and step on something sharp. I step backwards - OUCH!! THUMBTACKS EVERYWHERE on the ground. Then I see good ART chalk on the ground, then Markers, then GLUESTICKS....and a dislodged DRAWER of the desk upturned.


I go to retrieve some of the rechargeable batteries that we use for our wireless keyboard and, OF COURSE, they are ALL MISSING. CRAP!! But my 2nd child, Tyler, WHOM I LOVE, is sleeping LIKE AN ANGEL. How is this possible, when he has been so good at creating CHAOS?

I think to myself on days like these - I just can't deal with any more poo, or accidents, or spilled food, or missing batteries, and I KNOW, I just KNOW, that I will LAUGH about this tomorrow!!!


Tami H. said...

Hmmmmm , sounds like the return of Hurrican Wayne. It may take more than one day to laugh about all that. I am extremely exhausted just reading about those messes. I have a hard time cleaning up after myself.

Lehikoinens said...

I am so laughing right now... but I truly do feel sorry for you. Poop? Thats just wrong!! I have a feeling I have many many of these stories to come. Then... you can laugh at me!

Anonymous said...

Did he inherit these "qualities" from me? I guess only my mom would know.