The 12 days of Christmas mishap

So every year Brian and I do the 12 days of Christmas for each other. We start – today – Dec 13^th – and we end on Christmas Day. Brian has stated many times that he wants 180 different ties – one for each day of the school year - so doesn’t have to repeat any days.

And we are not talking Boring hum drum ties here – we are talking about a Where’s Waldo tie, or Napoleon Dynamite tie that says “Vote for Pedro” or Mona Lisa wearing a Santa Hat – you get the pictures. The students LOVE that Brian wears these ties – it s gives them the impression that he is “Cool”, or as “One of them” as he can be.

So, this year I have been planning for months now - to do the 12 ties of Christmas. I have been collecting them from the summer whenever I see a really cool tie. He gets 1 cool tie a day for the 12 days. Last night Brooke cut out all the wrapping paper by herself – pretty good for 4 – and would give me the pieces in which to wrap the ties. Tyler tried to cut some out – but he pretty much just obliterated the paper he touched – a good try for being 2. Anyway, we heard Brian coming home from his late Master’s class and we had two ties to go. “Quick Brooke, cut me out two pieces of paper so Daddy doesn’t see what these are! We can cover them up!” So we worked quickly and had them covered with wrapping paper at least as Brian walked in.

Cute Brooke greets him with, “Hi Daddy, we wrapped a whole bunch of ties for you, and I am getting a my little pony for Christmas!” Well, that let the cat out of the bag a bit. At least he won’t know WHAT ties, right?

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES!!

ONE CRAZY NIGHT

This is going to sound really crazy, but we apparently are one of those people that stay up ALL NIGHT LONG at a store to get the really good deals for the day after Thanksgiving in 19 degree weather.

This year we got in line at 6:10 PM Thanksgiving night. Note that says PM and not AM. In line is Brian, our friend Jeremy, Bro-n-law Kevin, me, and my sister Sarah.

So why do we do it? It basically gives us a $700 dollar Christmas for free – or at least that was the sum total THIS year. Last year it only gave us a $200 dollar Christmas for free.

The key for us, is BEST BUY ANYDAY over Circuit City. But here is what we do - at #28 in line this year, #29, #30, #31 consecutively in line this year, we got the laptops that were going at ridiculously low prices and sell them on Ebay or Craigs List. This year personally I found out the hard way that Ebay really SUCKS when it comes to selling computers. The first 3 winners on the laptops we sold were all FRADULENT - they were people in Bosnia, UK, and GREECE that had taken over someone else’s account and bid it up and changed the address on the account. They would usually have specific instructions like “Please send TODAY.” Anyway, I got lucky that I wasn’t SUPER on the ball with mailing them out, because I got the alerts before even packaging them up.

So I have to say, Craigs List is definitely the way to go! Brian met a buyer at the United Center – and all went well. I still get nervous about that a little – meeting a stranger – but better in a well lit public place than at our house in my opinion.

SO, HERE IS THE CRAZY STORY:

We arrive at 6:10 PM. After a delicious meal (thanksgiving leftovers and hickory farms) on our utility table, 2 kerosene lanterns, 5 lawn chairs, several card games, a laptop, and 4 sleeping bags, we sat and talked for a good 7 + hours. At 1:30 AM while standing in line, a cop got out of the car and told us that if we had to leave the line to go to the bathroom, we had to ask him. Then he would time us for 15 minutes. If we took longer, then we were out of line.

Well, cute Brian just happened to be gone for a bathroom brake when the cop showed up. We told him we had someone who was in line and was at the bathroom. The cop said he would give him 15 minutes and then tough. So, since Brian had already been gone 30 minutes I was getting a little nervous, given his history of falling asleep in any circumstances. So my brother in law Kevin whispers quietly and urgently, “Call Him.” I knew for proximity’s sake he was either at my in laws house or our house.

So I called each place like 10 times – left 3 crazy messages on my in laws answering machine sounding something like this: “Brian, if you are asleep please wake up. The police are here and they say you need to be here right now. Brian are you there? I am going to keep saying your name in case you are asleep but hearing this message. Brian….Please wake up!!.” Yeah, my in laws just got back into town today from a 3 week vacation and they are REALLY going to wonder about those messages!?!

So, no luck. 25 minutes go by. The cop doesn’t notice…or at least he isn’t saying anything. Meanwhile, people are asking permission to use the bathroom reminiscent of the kindergarten days. I start panicking a little – what if he is asleep for the night and doesn’t wake up? That pretty much deteriorates significantly our plan. If he takes much longer, then our plan is nil! So as I have been doing the past 25 minutes, I call our house again.

“HEELLLLLOOO?” I hear the slow slurred answer. “Brian,” I whispered loudly “You need to get over here right away or you won’t have a place in line. The police are here monitoring who’s in line!” “Oh…..I keetaa summon thereta time.” “Brian, WAKE UP!” I whispered, “You need to come right now! Are you awake?” “Yeah…I’ll be there, “ He said thickly and slowly. I tried calling several times after he hung up just in case. I thought, “Well, he is either on his way, or he fell back into a deep sleep.”

Thank goodness we see him 12 minutes later, and the cop didn’t say anything. Brian says brightly, “Yeah, I thought I would just rest a minute on the couch after I went to the bathroom, and I guess I fell asleep.”

And let me tell you being 4 months pregnant at the time did not help any bladder situations – I had to literally go every hour almost. I just got annoyed with myself near the end and held it – I think the decision came fairly easily when after 3:00 am when they handed out the vouchers, they told us if anyone got out of line at this point – to the back. And, it was starting to get crazy. The policeman hid out in his car looking through the ad (Gee, thanks!) and people started putting away – in our case – our large card table, our banquet of food, our 5 lawn chairs, our 2 kerosene heaters, our 4 sleeping bags, and homework in Brian’s case. Then the line got very tight.

Well, after that long wait, we had another very long wait in the laptop line (we got 4 – 3 to sell, and one to keep) – and then we hit 2 more stores, kohls and target – all by 7:15 a.m. WE were DONE Christmas Shopping in one fell swoop. Then our drowsiness set in and we went home and crawled into bed for a full 2 hours and 45 minutes while my parents watched the kids.

Ahhh, there is nothing quite like black Friday!

the REAL hot chocolate

One lonely Friday Night with our husbands gone, Tami, my sistah, and I decided to make REAL hot chocolate while we watched Santa Claus 2. No SWISS MISS mystery powder, no ALDI brand hot chocolate - REAL STUFF.

So we take BIG CHUNKS of premium Dark Chocolate and smash it into smaller chunks and add it to the milk in the CHOCOMOTION.

THAT'S IT!!!!- the chocomotion did its thing of swirling it around and it make the FROTHIEST, CHOCOLATIEST, YUMMIEST hot chocolate EVER!!!!

Then we add a dollop of WHIP CREAM - and HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!

TOTALLY BRILLIANT

Today Mitt Romney gave an AMAZING Speech on Faith in America.

I actually cried when he started talking about Sam Adams. I thought it was brilliant and transcendant.

To those nuts out there that think he should have addressed DOCTRINAL FACETS - I say - HELLO!?!?!
Did you not hear anything the man said?!?! "No candidate should be the spokesperson for his or her religion. " Guilani doesn't have to answer if he is in "full communion" with his church, Huckabee doesn't have to answer about "wives being submissive to their husbands" creed - yet Romney has been attacked
AD NAUSEUM - RELENTLESSLY!!!!!
With that note, here is the speech:

To hear the speech,here is the link:

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!

Brian and I have a funny message for you. We just made a total elves out of ourselves!!. Check it out by clicking the link below.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1122490285

This post is dedicated to one of our favorite movies, "Elf"

Time Management

HELP!
I need some serious time management suggestions. I am totally wearing myself out! I am like the only blogging mom who did not YET post Halloween pictures of my kids. What KIND of mom am I?

Why did Brian and I decide to rip out our family room floor tonite and put wood down Saturday when he has only been home 2 waking hours since Sunday - and I am overwhelmed with...life!?!?!

Are we insane? (We DID manage to watch the office tonite though - a very different flavor than usual...)

How do all of you "Do it all" moms do it all?

We are alive!

In response to Darcie’s comment, “Are you Alive? Update your blog!” I thought I should pick myself up from one of the craziest past 3 weeks ever. A brief synopsis:

*I decided 3 weeks ago to get my NASM Personal Trainer certification – and I have to complete the course by Dec 17 and test on it – stress!

*After a freak email I sent to Julie Tupler, author of “Lose your Mummy Tummy” (and founder of the technique I have been teaching for two years with my PT sister) we are in direct communication with her frequently and she is planning to open up a facility in Chicago with us as the lead instructors. Enter 8 week home study program and 5 day New York trip to train with her (after January please- no more at this point!)

*I was in charge of our Primary Sponsored and planned Huge Ward Halloween Party this past Saturday. It is really a quarterly activity that by tradition has been turned into this massive event. I was at the church decorating for 3 days in a row, plus making posters, cakes, ballot boxes, and putting all those lovely last minute things together. It was on Saturday – went great! (Until our Primary Secretary slipped on a potatoe peel and injured her knee badly)

*As primary President we also, in such a timely way, have the big Primary Program. I can’t complain about it because my counselor is planning it, the SAINT! But I still feel stressed about it!

*I am getting CPR certified next week at a hospital. One more thing to find a babysitter for.

*My mom is driving up for 4 hours tomorrow to watch my kids while I do a 2 day very long workshop for PT cert. You gotta love moms!!!!

*Not that this is an excuse for me, but I thought it added to the craziness - Brian's school was under heavy security because there was a shooting threat for today - Halloween. GREAT!

*I just went to the hospital from a referral from my OB GYN that something might be very wrong (unrelated to the next item)– and THANKFULLY everything is OK. Radiology tests showed nothing!!!

*OH YEAH, I am pregnant with # 3. Sorry for family members especially we haven’t told – we haven’t really told anyone. I am due in May and it was VERY MUCH planned.

So, sorry fellow bloggers for my absence in the blogger world. I am returning!! I won't neglect commenting on your blogs. AND I'll be sure to post some upbeat Halloween pictures next year - just kidding, in a couple of days.

my first experience with photoshop

Can you tell what I did to change/fix this picture?
If its not really obvious we will use it in our Christmas cards. My dad, who LOVES photography, took this pic -he takes our Christmas pics every year.

THE OFFICE

My take on THE OFFICE:

Angela and Dwight – yes I love that the two believers of office tyranny are having some relationship troubles. It does add a dose of realism to their secret relationship. The cat named GARBAGE was a GREAT replacement for Sprinkles. I would LOVE a cat that can kill a family of raccoons J

Toby the HR guy: PROPS to Toby for delivering a PDA memo – and having it be interpreted as a way to “Congratulate” Pam and Jim. That one MADE my day!

Pam and Jim: Yes they are together. Yes it was a LITTLE anticlimactic for me. Yes, I think they can do fun things with it. Yes, I felt bad for Ryan for hitting on Pam in front of Jim. Yes, I am hoping they don’t elaborate on the intimate part of their relationship. I prefer, at this point, to think of them as PURE. I don’t want my bubble burst.

Ryan: What did he mean when he told Jan, “You really let yourself go!” ?????? Was that referring to her letting her looks and poise go? Was that referring to the whole “Work life” thing? Someone clarify! And I am warming up to his beard. They had to do SOMETHING to make the kid look older. Brian and I LOVED that Andy started “ATTACKING” him and he was stopped by someone saying, “Oh, NO, he wasn’t here for that! No Attacking!” That part is particularly funny to rewind over and over again.

Kelli – PLEASE find someone else. Its getting painful. Maybe Toby - that would be the weirdest relationship ever...

Michael – I hope he gets back his turtles and learns not to turn into rivers. “DON’T YELL AT ME!” was a great line before driving into the river. And did he HAVE to beg for that basket...again...PAINFUL to watch - but hilarious of course.

I personally prefer the plot lines WORK related with personal fabric woven in, instead of reversed, which to ME are never quite a funny.

OUR FAVORITE EPISODE OF ALL TIME: Season III: Competing for Boss Games on the river bank. We died laughing for 30 minutes straight. We still cry laugh every time we joke about Andy floating down the river calling to Angela for help. And calling out in the dark, "Hello, my name is Andy, I'm with a group called Dundler Mifflin!!.....", while floating by the bank in the sumo wrestling outfit. LOL! OK, BREATHE!!!

MY HUSBAND

Thanks Andrea for this cute idea!

My husband...

What is his name? Brian McLaughlin Wayne

How long have you been together? We started going out November of 1994. I was Brian’s first kiss. We dated on and off until we got engaged 4 days after my mission in 2000. (We broke up 3 times in between)

Who eats more? When we were first married we divided everything EXACTLY down the middle – everything was 50/50. Now he generally eats more than me…although bust out those thanksgiving pies and WATCH OUT. As my father-n-law affectionately tells me, “GIRL, you can PACK IT DOWN!”

Who said I love you first? He did. We were both 17 and it was Christmas Day. AHH, that was a GREAT Christmas!

Who is taller? Brian is by nearly 1 foot. Yeah, and people wonder why I wear “tall shoes.”

Who sings better? Brian is an excellent singer - he comes from a very musical family. I love it when we do duets. Our latest, “A Way Back into Love” from the movie “Music and Lyrics.”

Who is smarter? We both are in totally different ways. Brian is in dealing with Teenagers (hence, he is regarded as a gifted teacher) and Sports – he know ALL the stats of ….everything! Me – emotionally, financially.

Whose temper is worse? A temper? I have only HEARD OF Brian yelling…to his class at school. I could hardly picture it. I guess the answer is me then.

Who does the laundry? I for sure do more loads of wash, but he helps with the folding. He does all his own ironing – what a stud!

Who pays the bills? I pay the bills with mostly HIS money :)

Who mows the lawn? We have an unspoken agreement: he does the lawn, and I do the (rather large) garden.

Who cooks dinner? If Brian cooks, we have tuna melts – pretty good ones too. If I cook, which is most the time, we have anything and everything – half are inventions.

Who is more stubborn? Hmm, that’s a hard one —me.

Who asked whom out? He asked me out first, but I had another date and shamefully told him I had to fill out college applications because I didn’t wan’t him to think I liked someone else. We decided to rain date it to two days later at my house. I did admit my lie to him later…he took it pretty well. He’s forever the understanding and forgiveable guy!

Who kissed whom first: He kissed me…but I framed him into doing it.

Who wears the pants in the family? He does, except when I do.

Who is more wonderful, good-looking, kind, generous, patient, understanding, athletic, talented and just overall amazing? BRIAN!?! AND LUCKY FOR ME, HE’S STILL THE ONE I KISS GOODNIGHT!

DEMOLITION!! we will miss you

This post will mostly be appreciated by those who have been to Nauvoo since the temple was built. The visitor centor across the street, affectionately known as the Joseph Smith Academy (JSA) was demolished as of a couple of days ago. Here are some pictures:


Our cast at the pageant was the last to dwell in its quarters. There was an AUCTION held there they auctioned off EVERYTHING you could possible imagine. A couple items of interest:

bowling alley - $2000
iron gate fence- $10000
200 folding chairs - went to Warsaw highschool, undisclosed sum
Stage curtains
furniture - $150
beds - went to boarding school
toilets and MUCH MORE

It ALL was sold.

THE RUMOR: Since the drafty former monestary JSA was very uneconomical to run and very inefficient (no air-conditioning, etc) they are tearing this down and building several small buildings on the same lot in its stead.

Including (and this is from a good source)
A new Visitor Center
OFfices for Nauvoo Restoration (NRI)
Smaller Condos or other Dwellings
An Auditorium

Enjoy these pics. To put everything into perspective - the temple is behind and to the left of the structure being torn down. Thanks to Greg for passing along these photos!

STUPID EPISODE

Did Anyone else HATE the Oprah Show today? It was AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE MISSION FIELD

Brian is starting to feel like he is living in South America Again! He just got called as Ward Mission Leader. Its his 2^nd time around – he did have that calling in our BYU married ward. It is TOTALLY different. I will preface this by saying that our ward has some unique boundaries. We live in what’s called “The oasis in the desert.” Our direct area of 30000 people has one of the top highschools in the nation – top 1%. Every area surrounding it – North, South, East and West is all poor and is getting run down, as of the last 15 years or so.

Our ward boundaries are HUGE – we can go an hour south and still reach our ward boundaries – Peotone, IL.

The Chicago South Mission LOVES our ward. We have 4 sets of missionaries including 2 couples and 2 sets of Elders. Our ward is considered “Fertile” especially compared to the Naperville, IL and Frankfort IL wards – the ritzier of the mission.

Well, its interesting because all the new members and all the investigators currently do not own cars and many cannot afford their own rent and so forth. We have to send people to drive 30 to 40 minutes out of their way ONE WAY to try and get people rides to church. Very much reminiscent of many members in South America not having cars – everyone walked to church. However, the boundaries, were MUCH smaller…or they would be walking all night!

Sometimes, I envy the days of having our ward perimeters being 4 apartments buildings right in a row. Or even better – having just the FIRST floor of the dorms be the entire ward!!!

My neighbors:

I think its always interesting to find out what kind of neighbors you have. Our street only has 7 houses on it – and our neighbors are so awesome.

Here is a summary of our neighbors in the Chicago Suburbs:

Donna and Nills: Live across the street. They have a Son at home who is a Jr. in high school and is in scouts. Donna is considered the Busy Body of the Street. She keeps tabs on everyone and finds out everything about them. She is very attentive and nice. They have given us many plants to plant in our yard, and they have one the “Homewood Beautification Award 2005.” They also have a Moose in their front yard as part of their landscaping. That is how everyone finds our house.

Jerry: He lives next door to us – he is a single (divorcee) guy that works nights for Fed Ex. He is in his low 50s and has a grown son. We don’t see him very often, but one day he saw Brian mowing the lawn with a hand push mower and he gave us one of his extras. He is really nice.

Mike and Cindy: They live next door to us on the other side. They are in their late 40s and have no kids. They are EXTREMELY attentive and are always looking out for us. Mike is in construction and Cindy works in an office. When there was a wire on the roof, Mike knocked on our door and let us know how much of a fire hazard that was and to call the electric company. He is currently replacing the blade for free in our lawnmower that Jerry gave us. He just got out of the hospital for having 5 blood clots in his leg and groin. He still insists on fixing our lawn mower, even though he has to be propped up with buckets.

90 year old lady: She is across the street from us and is moving out in a couple days. She is the cutest old lady and she watches us go on walks as she sits outside. She yelled out of her car when we first moved in, “WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!”

Sara and Eric: They live across the street from us caddy corner (house on left side of pic) – they have 2 girls – 8 and 13. Sara knows my father-in-law because she taught school with him; she also grew up with Brian’s sister and knows her. They are renting out their old house 3 streets down to another couple. They REALLY wanted the house they are living in now. She has a jewelry business. He is a computer technician.

75 year old man: He is currently the most social man on the street. He moved into the nicest biggest house on the street 1 year ago (house on right side of pic). He must have had his eye on it awhile. He fixed it up even nicer and is always sitting outside with several neighbors – sometimes they drink beer.

I have to say, they are a great bunch – I have absolutely NO COMPLAINTS. They are fabulous!

OPRAH SHOW #5

So my ALMOST fail proof method of getting into the Oprah Show worked again. If enough people want to know I will write back “THE SECRET” (inside Oprah watcher joke) of how to do it.

If you are a watcher – we did a double taping during the afternoon today. The issues were both on women’s health by Dr. Northrup – and she was AWESOME. I had already read some of her books and I really love her approach to health. She’s not one of those “Here’s a PX for that – let me know how it goes” - she gets to the root of the problem – she says she most often starts tackling women’s various problems with their nutrition –which I think is brilliant. These are the books they are promoting for the show that they gave us:

I went with my BYU girl pal Cassidy Lundgren, and Cassidy’s fellow Kohl’s employee’s wife Kara (don't you love her hair?!) It was our "ANNUAL BYU alum Oprah Trip." (Terica, we missed you!)

After some parking issues – cute Cassidy running from the Parking Garage after noticing a “No Parking Zone” where her car was parked outside HARPO Studios – we got in the door safely. I never knew anyone could run in heels like that – VERY IMPRESSIVE CASSIDY!

They fed us lunch since we were doing a women’s taping. They felt so bad for the 3 guys in the audience, they game them $200 dollar gift certificate to Allen Brother’s Steak House. See Ladies – you can tell your husband it IS worth it for guys to come to OPRAH!

I submitted one question they ALMOST had me ask – but THANK HEAVENS I did NOT have to ask my question or I would have seriously died. I just wrote the question thinking I would never be called on to ask it. They filled enough seats on the stage before they got my question that I luckily got out of it. PHHHHHEEEEEEWWWWW!

I definitely liked this topic more that “Wives that leave their husband for other women” and “NAMBLA and the sexual Predators” tapings I went to!

If you want to see the shows we were on –one is on October 15^th or 16^th and the other….they didn’t tell us….but sometime.

This is us making fun of the audience members of Oprah (I guess that would be ourselves.... in this case).

TWO

Tyler is TWO!

Yes, it is true. I still think of him as a baby too – its funny how your perspective remains the same unless there is a change – or you see a “real” baby.

Well – he of COURSE had everything"CAR." He can barely stand it he is so excited when we go on the highway because there are so many “BIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGG TRUCKS!” and so many “CARS!!!!”

So here is Tyler's RACE CAR CAKE:

ke:

We played “PIN THE CAR ON THE ROAD” - Tyler was the only one who did NOT want the blindfold on.

Then, I had a vengeful moment…maybe it’s a little embarrassing….we had given all the kids bubbles to blow as a prize. They were all blowing away in the yard and loving it. I burst out the silly string and I PEGGED each child. There was no playful laughter, no smiles of glee, no looks of wonder or amazement. NO – every single child looked at me with big puppy dog eyes on the verge of tears with looks of hurt in there eyes.

I couldn’t stop myself – I pegged everyone again – on the back, maybe the arm or shoulder. In spite of myself, I was laughing uncontrollably and BOY did it feel GOOD!!! A couple of the kids were crying because they did not understand what I had done, or what this stringy stuff was all over their bodies. I sort of felt like Dr. Leo Marvin in “What about Bob” when he had gone off the deep end. Well, all I can say is I have absolutely NO EXCUSES for myself, other than the fact that is was fun to be a LITTLE out of control.

Presents Tyler got, and I am not sure HOW everyone KNEW (said facetiously)... CARS!!! He also got Dinosaurs and a cute little Cubs hate to “Make Dad proud.”

We tried to sit on our AWESOME new octagon picnic table made by the Amish people – and we really DID TRY. The mosquitos are RAVENOUS here since we got so much rain a couple weeks ago. They go inside at 10:00 am, and come back out at NOON and they do not REST….EVER!!!! They are a driven breed, I tell you. If I think of industrious, I don’t think of a colony of ants, or a hive of bees….NO…. I think of MOSQUITOS in the Midwest. And considering people in our COUNTY have contracted West Nile, it isn’t the prettiest picture in the world.

And, why is it that all parties end in upset or sad children?????? It is one of the many mysteries of life!

Well, I am very happy for Tyler to reach this milestone. His vocabulary is blooming as he is putting together more and more sentences. He is the funniest kid and I LOVE him to pieces. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER!!!!!

SKINNY DIPPING on LABOR DAY!!!

Although Brian and I sat this one out, our kids LOVED skinny dipping - or in Brooke's case - SEMI skinny dipping.

And my little man Tyler, we have noticed, has little to no fear. He sincerely feels he is invincible -and apparantly in this picture, he's pretty darn close.Brian and I thought we might try this move next year ....just maybe!





Here is a difference in philosophy on the best way to pick apples:

Brooke: Hold the bucket very nicely, pick the nicest looking ones and place them nicely in the bucket. When finished - proudly hold the bag up for mom and dad to admire and praise.

Tyler: Go to the inside of the apple tree, break off a stick, and whack the apple tree repetively. When exhausted, pick up an apple off the ground and munch away.

mommy tummy

So my sister Tami and I are way excited because we are starting our Lose your Mommy Tummy class out in the HUGE 3 story Sportsplex in Orland Park - it will be our 2nd location.

Our Supervisor Deborah told us that new classes are hard to pick up participants. Well, I called up yesterday to see how many people we have in our class, and it is completely full – they only allow us to have 28 people because of the room size – with a waiting list! YEAH – this is the first time our class has had a waiting list – waiting list people have to pay just in case it goes through. Also, for our next session down the road in October, we already have a lot of people signed up.

I was stunned, and a little giddyJ It really is something I LOVE to do. Some of the things any postpartum moms out there may be interested in knowing:

*In 98% of women, your rectus abdominus splits during pregnancy creating a diastisis. It does not come together on its own.

*We have noticed in 6 class sessions, most people close at least 1 or 2 (of 3) parts of their diastisis if they come consistently.

*We have noticed that the very skinny younger moms that we have taught have THINNER abdominals than people with more weight on their bodies. In fact, in many of the really skinny moms, their rectus abdominus is like a split thin pancake in width.

*The oldest person who took our class was 72. She had 13 kids.

*The widest diastisis we have seen is 5 fingerwidths on top (3 in. above bellybutton), 6 fingerwidths in the middle (at the belly button), and 5 fingerwidths on the bottom (3 inches below the belly button)

*The people with the thickest rectus abdominus tend to have layers – for example – the deepest part of the diastisis may be 1 fingerwidth, and the surface most layer may be a 1.

*Most postpartum women have a 2 to 3 finger width gap in their diastisis.

*People that have closed their diastisis have reopened it during the 6 weeks by carrying things that were too heavy.

*The women who had the largest diastisis and the thinnest rectus abdominus tended to have back problems.

*You can do the Tupler exercises we teach within 24 hours of having a baby – and within a week if you had a C Section.

*During the 6 weeks, people tend to lose 1 to 2 inches in their waist.

*Tautness of (belly) skin is age and genetics.

*The ideal for a Postpartum women is 10 sets of Seated Tupler Exercises a day.

*You can do them anywhere because its intrinsic. As long as your don't wear a constipated look on your face from concentrating and using your muscles you can do them in line at a store, church, movie - anywhere!

*Some people pay a ton of money to take the class and never come once.

*The exercises are designed to close the diastisis, shink the waistline, tone the muscles, correct bad posture, correct back problems and increase energy

*Since initially closing all 3 parts of my diastisis, I have noticed that I reopen it by carrying things that are too heavy or jackknifing out of bed. It takes me1 class session to bring it completely back together.

*I lost 7 inches in my waist from the Tupler exercises – over 5 months (after baby #2).

*We have had pregnant women in our class who have actually CLOSED their diastisis while their stomach is growing. This helps in labor tremendously because they have full strength of their pushing muscle (the transverse)

*Crunches are terrible for a post partum woman or pregnant women. DIASTISIS CITY!

*Tami and I are the only teachers of this class for the entire south suburbs of Chicago. There may be others in Chicagoland, but I don’t know of any.

These in a nutshell are my observations and education thus far in testing and teaching literally hundreds of pregnant and postpartum women.

I AM HAVING TWO LOVE AFFAIRS?!?!

According to My Husband and I having two love affairs. One with Mitt Romney (because I google news about him at least a couple of times a day, go to the Five brother Blog, and look at the poll numbers everyday. I know, I’m a freak!)

The other thing is IKEA – I have it on the brain.

Its so family oriented and it is SO cheap – and has some really cool stuff. (for instance, a 4 pack of those sticky hooks you put on the wall – normally like 2.99 at most stores – is 19 cents – for FOUR! Things like this literally make me DROOL! Yeah, so since I love EVERYTHING there (well, almost) and I fantasize about how to encorporate this and that in the house – I REALLY need to break off ties cold turkey – at least for awhile. I sound like a fickle lover!

REVENGE OF THE SPIDERS!!

So one of my friends told me that when they had their 17 year cicada invasion (yes you Cami!) that they were infiltrated with spiders because the birds feasted on the Cicadas. And I am confirming that THAT IS HAPPENING TO US!! I have arachnophobia - I am sure by now our neighbors are used to blood curdling screams when I am picking tomatoes and squash in the garden.

Or even when I open the back door into a giant spider web. I find them everywhere - giant spiders love the children's swingset and play house outside - they will do webs all over it and then jump all the way over to the house and do giant webs in between.

And it didn't help when I was redoing our curtains and one GIANT SPIDER jumped out of the curtains.

I just have to refrain from picturing the shower scene in the movie "Arachnophobia" - if you have seen the movie, you know what I am talking to. YIKES!!